If you’re not sure where to start, I recommend that you begin with learning to love yourself. I grew up in a dysfunctional family. There was emotional abusive, violence, as well as excessive drinking and drugs. As a kid, I lived through all of that.
When you break your hand on vacation, then what? Embrace Positivity
My family and I went on vacation and I made sure that I had caught up with all the work for the Let Go and Be Free podcast and my other author-related work. I wanted to unplug, unwind, and spend time with my spouse and kids.
It had been a challenging year and with a lot of change coming (kids going back to school), I wanted to be in the moment. Unfortunately, on day 2 of the trip, I fractured my hand. (For the full story, listen to the podcast.)
What I Learned from Yoga with Adriene's Move - A 30 Day Yoga Journey (2022)
I recently finished Adriene MIshler’s Move - 30 Day Yoga Journey and here are my thoughts about the experience. First off, a big thank you to Adriene for all she does for her community. Thank you!
A few years ago, I hurt my back pretty badly while trying to run really fast on my treadmill. I mentioned this to a coworker, and she told me to look up Yoga with Adriene on YouTube. I found a lower back practice and loved it. Over the years, when I would feel a twinge in my back, I’d work in the back stretches that I learned from Adriene and all would be right with the world.
Book Review for Unwinding Anxiety: New Science Shows How to Break the Cycles of Worry and Fear to Heal Your Mind
I think I first heard about Dr. Judson Brewer’s Unwinding Anxiety: New Science Shows How to Break the Cycles of Worry and Fear to Heal Your Mind back in March. I bought a copy of the book, placed it on my shelf, and it sat there for months. It’s not that I didn’t want to get to reading it, but it’s not an easy book to read through.
This is an honest review, so I’m going to be straight with you: When I did start the book, it took me months to get through. It’s a dense book, and I found difficult to read. Part of that is due to the topic: who wants to shine a light on your own bad habits and start to face them? Facing your problems can be daunting in normal times, but especially during the pandemic.
Netflix Limited Series Maid Is a Masterpiece That Sparked Many Memories of My Own Childhood
I finished watching the Netflix series Maid (based off of Stephanie Land’s Maid: Hard Work, Low Pay, and a Mother’s Will to Survive). Yes, the situations that the young woman goes through were triggering and difficult to watch, but I found the series to contain so much truth and hope.
There’s a scene in which the little 3-year-old is waiting to be picked up by her father (who struggles with alcoholism) and watching that scene brought me back to when I was 5-years-old waiting for my father to pick me up after my mom and he divorced.
Listen to the Breaking the Bottle Legacy-Change Your Relationship with Alcohol Podcast Interview with Ron Vitale
I had the honor of being on Molly Watts’ Breaking the Bottle Legacy-Change Your Relationship with Alcohol podcast and we talked about the journey of being adult children of alcoholics and how to overcome self-limiting beliefs and emotional immaturity.
We had a natural rapport and talked about some of the challenges in growing up as an adult child of an alcoholic and went into some of the specifics on learning various skills to help us stop from repeating dysfunctional behavior that we learned as children.
Book Review: Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life by Marshall B. Rosenberg
Day 400: Goodbyes
My grandmother used to say to me, “Never say ‘goodbye,’ always say ‘so long.’” What she meant by that came more into focus with me as I grew older. Part superstitious, she feared that if you said ‘goodbye’ to someone that you might never see them again.
Because I felt abandoned by my father after my mom and he divorced, I have always had a difficult time in saying goodbye to people. When a romantic relationship ended, I’d feel crushed. No matter how bad the breakup, I didn’t want to see a person drift out of my life. I had enough loss, and I wanted people to stay—desperately so.
Day 399: You Are Beautiful
Do you see yourself as beautiful?
Or do you listen to the shades of your past?
As a kid, my classmates called me “four eyes” and “rope man” because I wore glasses and thin. I dealt with bullies in high school and did my best to get by. In my family, my grandfather called me a bookworm because I always had my nose in a book.
Day 398: When You Stop Changing
When you stop changing, it’s time to ask yourself: Why? Is it because you’re afraid, unsure, or anxious? When we go about our day, and get lost in the shuffle of our daily events, it’s sometimes difficult to make time to reflect on who we are.
As I write this, the United States has just passed 18,000,000 cases of the coronavirus. Christmas is only days away and public health experts are urging people not to see relatives for the holidays. My family and I are locked down in our house. My kids are attending school virtually, and my wife and I are working remotely. Our days are filled with routines that are repeated day after day.
Day 397: Endings Are the Beginning of Something New
An ending can be a difficult time. When we leave behind our alcoholic or dysfunctional family upbringing, doors will open and the path forward might seem easy at first. But there are many endings we will experience throughout our lives: Jobs, romantic relationships, friendships, and unfortunately, losing those we love.
In the grief that we experience during challenging times of change, it’s difficult to see that there will be a tomorrow.
Day 396: Focusing on the Past
When you focus on the past, we remain stuck there. Often it’s easier to stay focused on what we know. Even if what we know is hurtful and brings us grief.
Step one is to be aware of our misgivings and the challenges we have in our lives. But when we focus on the past, we can remain stuck and act in a way that will keep us locked down and resistant to the growth.
Day 395: Emotional Addiction
I recently came across the term emotional addiction that I wanted to share with you. Here’s a definition to help explain what this addiction is as listed by the 7 Summit Pathways Treatment & Recovery Center:
“Those who develop an emotional addiction become hooked to feeling a familiar way or responding to their powerful, innate emotions. The brain gives off chemical reactions in response to certain emotions, similar to those experienced while taking part in other addictive behaviors or substances. People with emotional addiction can become dependent on a certain emotion for comfort, relief, distraction or escape.”
Day 394: Faltering at the End
It is much easier to stick with what we know than to chart a new course and change dysfunctional behaviors. When you’re used to getting a response by acting a certain way, the tendency is to continue to act that way because you get results.
If you’re in a married relationship, I expect that you’ve detected patterns in how you disagree, where you compromise (where you won’t), as well as how you navigate change.
