I think I first heard about Dr. Judson Brewer’s Unwinding Anxiety: New Science Shows How to Break the Cycles of Worry and Fear to Heal Your Mind back in March. I bought a copy of the book, placed it on my shelf, and it sat there for months. It’s not that I didn’t want to get to reading it, but it’s not an easy book to read through.
This is an honest review, so I’m going to be straight with you: When I did start the book, it took me months to get through. It’s a dense book, and I found difficult to read. Part of that is due to the topic: who wants to shine a light on your own bad habits and start to face them? Facing your problems can be daunting in normal times, but especially during the pandemic.
I read a few pages, put the book down, and kept promising myself that I’d get back to the book. Weeks went by until I finally picked the book up again.
I’ve since finished the book and I’ll say this: there are some great teachings in this book. Unfortunately, there’s a lot of “noise” around those nuggets of material that water the book down. I’m not trying to dissuade you from purchasing the book, but I’d recommend that you skim through it.
There are several stories that meander and I found to be not well-threaded throughout the book. And the last few chapters appear to be tacked on and didn’t really add to my understanding of how best to unwind my own anxiety.
Why should you pick this book up? It’s a great resource to better understand the science of your brain, but also to have three solid skills to help you deal with your anxiety.
Dr. Brewer has come up with the following:
Step 1: Pay attend to your habits and thought process throughout the day. Write them down.
Step 2: Take a step back, focus on listening to your body and thoughts, and accept what you’re feeling, be curious, and then ask: Why do I keep repeating this habit?
Step 3: Find a better habit to replace the bad one.
I put Dr. Brewer’s steps into practice and have had great success. One of my bad habits is waking up in the middle of the night. I’ll wake up, lie there for a bit, roll over, look at my clock, and that causes my stress to go up once I see how late it is. Then my brain starts winding up and I worrying about a hundred things. I can’t go back to sleep, and by the time I do, I’m drained and not rested in the morning.
But when I put the steps into practice, here’s how that worked for me:
Step 1: I realize that when I wake up in the middle of the night and look at the clock that I’m starting an anxious habit that will keep repeating. I stare at the clock, worry about how late it is, then worry about work, the pandemic, my problems, etc.
Step 2: When I wake up now, I don’t look at the clock and ask myself: “Hmm, why am I waking up? Did I have a bad dream? What am I worried about?
Step 3: I break the cycle of thinking negatively by saying the Loving Kindness mediation silently to myself. I’ve been using the meditation for years and thought it promising that Dr. Brewer mentions it in his book. It’s a simple meditation that works.
Understanding the science of what’s going on in your brain and learning positive techniques to help you with anxiety is well worth the cost of the book. I would recommend picking it up, but I’d suggest skimming through the first part and the last two chapters.
And if you do start reading and become a bit intimidated by those opening few pages, just know that there’s a lot to be learned from this book. It’s okay to skip forward a bit. I won’t tell anyone.
Please note that there are affiliate hyperlinks used on this page and that I receive a small percentage of sales if you choose to purchase. I only recommend items that I have found helpful and useful, and am passing them on to you to help. Thank you!