Writing is hard. It sometimes sucks and doesn't often pay well. Still, I wanted to share with you a quick follow up. Last week I had really beat myself up on being frustrated and not doing well in making my writing goals. Working on my next novel was like having teeth pulled at the dentist's. Well, it's a week later and I wanted to come clean on my progress or lack of it.
I feel like I'm failing in many areas of my life and I've struggled with whether I want to write about it or not. There are many emotions swirling around inside and I just want to express that I'm frustrated, tried and angry. I'm angry because I'm working so hard but feel like I'm failing miserably as a writer, a parent and just as a person. I put a lot of effort and energy into all that I do, but my goals aren't any closer.
A few weeks ago I moved into new office space and in the lunchroom the walls were made out of a dry eraser board material. When I was headed to get my lunch one day, I saw the following written on the wall: "Greatness comes from ______." Weeks went by and no one had written anything on the wall, but the line had stuck in my head and I kept thinking on how I would answer the question. Why? Well, that's how my mind works. I think those sorts of things in which there really is no right answer but the question gets you thinking.
I have just come home from seeing Jodorowsky's Dune in the movies with an old friend from high school. A lot of events had to come together for me to see this movie and it so inspired me that I rushed home and am now sitting in front of the computer. I've been up since 5 am, worked all day, went to see the movie and now it's 10 pm but I need to write this all out before it slips through my mind.
I'm often asked the question: "How do you get all the work done that you do?" It's an interesting question because the answer is so much more than giving a list of the things that I sacrifice. I wanted to pull the veil back a bit and to let everyone in to see the downside of being a writer. It's not all fun and roses. I've had a particularly rough last few weeks.
I made a decision back in 2010 that changed my life. I made a commitment to write a novel and publish it. I had written my first fantasy novel back when I was 16 years old and for the longest time I floundered. I struggled to get the book published, wrote a second book (a sequel to the first) that still sits on my virtual shelf as well as a good number of short stories. All the time I kept listening to the critics around me: You can't earn a living being a fiction writer. (Dean Wesley Smith takes a nice sledgehammer to that urban myth and debunks it with flare. Be sure to check his article out.)