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Selma, Listen to Your Heart

A friend of mine from work lent me the film "Dancer in the Dark" and I made time to watch it last night. I have been meaning to see this film since it came out back in 2001 as I am a Björk fan but just never made time. I knew what the story was about, understood that it was a Lars Von Trier film, and just didn't want my heart to be stomped on. But over conversation the other day, this film came up and, as luck would have it, my friend and her fiance owned the film. I watched it last night and then had a dream. In my dream, I was to get up, go to the computer and looking for Beethoven's 9th symphony and send that out on Twitter. So, before I go on, I'm going to do that now. For your viewing/listening pleasure, jump to 2 minutes and 42 seconds in and listen from there as it's my favorite part:

Does that set the mood for you as to what my mindset is? So getting back to the movie, I watched the end of the film (no, I'm not going to give anything away. I'm not like that) and was touched by these lines: "They say it's the last song. They don't know us, you see. It's only the last song if we let it be." I have always been fascinated by the power of the human mind. There have been times in my life in which I am under tremendous stress and have been unable to find ways to see the solution to a problem, but if I allow my mind to be free there are no chains to hold me down. If you are free in your mind and in your heart, then everything else will just pass through you. Maybe some might call this denial but that's not what I am trying to get at.

I have limitations on the amount of time I have to accomplish my goals and my desires. I want to write and am working on a large project but have not made time to do this work as I've been focusing on my family life, my career and on training for a half-marathon. Anyone who knows me sees that I am not lazy and that I am put my all into my work and in what I believe in. I am genuine and true though flawed.

I slept last night, had the dream about Beethoven and then went on a 4.5 mile run this morning. It was 36 degrees outside, cold and still dark. The sun had not yet risen. Thoughts of the movie kept running through my head and a line kept popping up: "Selma, listen to your heart." That's a critical line in the film as earlier, Björk, who plays Selma tells her friend Kathy: "I must listen to my heart." How funny it is that this is a key phrase that speaks deeply and secretly to me. One of my favorite sayings is: "The Heart has its reasons which Reason knows not" (Blaise Pascal). I've always liked this phrase and although following my heart often can be confusing because it's hard for people to understand my motivations. I have no master plan. I don't have my life all color coded and mapped. It's not how I live nor would I want to live that way, but I do wish to be alive and to take time to stop and listen--especially during the difficult times in life.

I ran to my halfway point, turned around and I could hear, like Selma in the film, music around me. I could see the sky brightening as the sun was rising and saw red robins flying by on the way to their nests. The chill in the air touched me and the heat inside me from my running conditioned me to a flow of the trees, the air and the noises around me. I had those moments of quiet in which I could just be. It was a quiet, personal moment. So why share it? It's my goal to listen to my heart (as corny as that might sound) and to be true. When I interact with you, you know that I'm genuine and I'm not pulling your leg. I am not trying to pull one over you. That's not how I operate. Those closest to me know me for who I am and I suspect that they love me for that with my flaws and quirks. But today is a day that I simply wanted to share this experience and to quote my family: "Rome wasn't built in a day." I am training for a half-marathon and the training is going well. I am working on a big writing project and made time to write five pages yesterday. It's slow going but progress is continuing. I am walking along a road that's twisting and crooked and has pitfalls but I am not giving up. I am a quiet fighter--well, that's not fully true. I bitch a lot when I've something on my mind, but then I set to the grind stone and work hard. It doesn't matter how difficult your path is, it doesn't matter how much work it is, none of that matters. If you believe that you can do it, even if it takes a lifetime, then you can do it.

Many ask me how I accomplish all that I do and that's how. Today is today. I ran 4.5 miles. It's on my training program. I wrote this. I am moving, slowly, oh so slowly, forward. Momentum. Energy. Listening to my heart. To just be. You'll see a sly smile on my face if you look hard at me. Because I'm happy. Tired, but committed and damn happy. Je t'aime.

The Blind Side: Review

My wife and I saw "The Blind Side" last night. Let me say this: Best picture? Are you kidding me? Look, I really went in to seeing this with an open mind. I like Sandra Bullock as an actress but I didn't think see did anything special here at all. What I want to know is: If you're black and you watch this film do you wonder if all the white people in America are crazy? This film is so heavy-handed with the hot, white Christian mom who saves the poor, unable to communicate well, black boy that I kept shaking my head. Really? I mean really?

There's a scene in which Sandra Bullock confronts some boys in the hood, threatening them, ending it with that she's a member of the NRA and is always packing. Okay, let me get this straight: Sandra Bullock's character goes to the projects, confronts several bad black dudes on their home turf and they don't even get up to confront her?

I kept watching this film, wondering what planet this movie was taking place in. The film is told solely from a safe, white perspective. The white mom who basically gets her way to save a black boy. Sure, that's a great story, but there's no true conflict or emotion in this story. It's so filled with fluff that I kept imaging a lot of middle-aged white folk sitting down feeling better about themselves in watching this flick.

Look, I like the story a lot. It's a rags to rices story. I've no problem with that. In fact, I'd like to hear the real story. Not the watered down version we get in this train wreck of a movie. Trust me, save your money and go see one of the other nominated flicks instead. In fact, go watch "An Education" and you'll see a much better movie. One that's filled with great acting, some serious conflict that's worth checking out. Thinking of seeing "The Blind Side"? Just pass. Trust me.

Movie Review: The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus

Over the holiday break my friend and I went to go see "An Education" (an amazing little film with a great breakout performance by Carey Mulligan) and before the movie began we saw the trailer for "The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus." I had forgotten that the movie was coming out soon so I was swept up in the trailer. Just from the minute and a half of footage I could tell that this film would be a feast for the imagination. However, I had heard of some of the problems that Terry Gilliam had in finishing the movie. The most complicated being that Heath Ledger died having completed only 1/3 of his scenes. With that in mind, my wife and I saw the film last night and seeing it was somewhat of a last minute adventure. We had planned on going out on a date to see "3 Idiots" but I convinced my wife to go to a different movie theater as I thought we'd have better dinner choices. And, as luck would have it, we were able to see "The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus."

The film is far from perfect suffering from breaks in Heath Ledger's having been unable to film 2/3 of the film, but the solution on solving that problem is brilliant. When you see the film and understand the solution, I think you'll agree that it's nearly seamless. But still, I wonder if the script had to be changed as the editing is good, but the narrative does break down toward the end. I won't give much away but it is what it is (again, I'm being vague on purpose). Yet the film is an imaginative joy to behold. There is depth in vision in this film as it's not only visually stunning, but filled with a sense of purpose and fun. The onscreen duel between Christopher Plummer and Tim Waits is timeless and we are asked to consider what we have sold to the devil in our own lives.

Plummer, as the Doctor Parnassus, is continually betting with the devil, desperately trying to save his daughter, but never quite able. Immortal and often filled with despair, Doctor Parnassus lives life knowing that the universe exists because humans tell their stories whereas the devil disagrees. The wisdom that comes from Parnassus causes us to question: Why are our stories so powerful and why do people keep telling them?

Depending on your willingness to use your imagination and take a leap of faith, I suspect some will love this film while others will ignore it. But isn't that true about life? Terry Gilliam has made a certain type of film. Somewhat arty and quirky with lots of dark humor and a critique about modern society. If you're willing to self-reflect and be whisked off into the world of Doctor Parnassus' imagination, you'll embark on a trip that you'll not regret. The film isn't perfect, but it's refreshing to see such a work on the big screen. And what about Ledger: He's good here, but he does not rise to the amazing work he did as the Joker in the "Dark Knight." If only he could have been around to film the rest of the film...

Yet, in a strange twist, immortality and fame are central themes to the film. Just as the devil tempts, showing a woman several floating flowered boats of famous people (James Dean, Princess Diana, etc.) drift down the dark river Styx, so I imagined Ledger's boat being there, too. Burned out too soon, he made a choice we are all given: Fame, money, power (fill in your own vice here) or true satisfaction and self-actualization. In a moment of pure fun early in the film, a young man runs to a mountain full of steps that lead to the light at the top. Engraved on the steps is: "12 x 12 x 12 Step Program." Looking up, the man sees that the road ahead will be difficult but, in the end, he'll find Nirvana and salvation. Behind him he sees a bar. Shrugging, he turns away from enlightenment and chooses the drink.

And that, in a nutshell, is brilliant. Always fast, easy and immediate gratification: Isn't that what we normally choose? In "The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus," we're asked to see the bigger picture and are tempted with two paths. As old as the world itself, Good vs. Evil. Ledger's character, Tony, chooses his path, Parnassus makes his own as do others in the film. In the end, our choice frames us for who we are and, if you're open to it, you'll be brought on a fun yet somewhat disturbing ride. If you're not up for that, then pass on this movie as you'll not enjoy it.

Movie Review: Avatar

I went in to see Avatar wanting to dislike it. I had listened to the Filmspotting podcast's review and was all ready to hate it. I had made a bet with myself, thinking that I would love the visuals but dislike the weak narrative. But that's not what happened. Let me get the negative out of the way first. I did see the movie in 3D but not in IMAX. I was not impressed. To me the 3D was distracting and a gimmick as it was one of the strongest drawbacks to the movie. The world of Pandora is beautiful to behold and the ghost-like 3D images pulled me out its rich texture. A few times I peeked out of the glasses wanting to see the crisp colors on the screen instead of spears being jabbed at me in "amazing" 3D. I wanted to take in more of amazing art that unfolded on screen and not appear to be balanced over a cliff in 3D.That did nothing for me.

And the acting... Well, well. How can I say this without it coming off negative? The human actor parts of the film kept pulling me out of the story. Giovanni Ribisi as a ruthless businessman and Matt Gerald as a gun-ho corporal were so over the top that I believed in the emotions of all the Na'vi people more than those of the human actors. The 2D "we hate the hostiles" attitude came off weak, too simplistic and annoying.

Closely tied to the bad acting is the storyline. Have you seen "Dances with Wolves," "Pocahontas" or "Princess Mononoke"? Then you know the plot and how things are going to work out. (And if you'd like to discover more of the planet as "Gaia" theme, I highly recommend you watch the japanese anime series "Arjuna." This series thoroughly addresses our relationship with mother Earth in a complicated and engaging way.)

Now with all the negative off my chest, what did I think of the film? Gone are the days of Jar Jar from Star Wars: The Phantom Menace. In ten years, technology has advanced to such a point that I can believe that a CGI character is real--moves real, expresses emotion believably and interacts with live actors naturally. Zoe Saldana who is the voice actor for Neytiri breathes life into her character. As Neytiri jumps, flashes her teeth in anger or cries, Saldana's voice melds with the onscreen image as though she is using an avatar herself. The CGI character we see is seamless with the human voice. She's beautiful to behold.

Watching the forest of Pandora come to life is an amazing treat and well worth the price of admission as you've not seen anything like this before. Do not be surprised when Avatar is nominated for best picture of the year. There is an energy in this film that speaks to both men and women, reaches into our core selves asking that you put aside some of the lame plot (what's the point of "unobtainium" anyway?!) but to allow the child within to enjoy the world that unfolds before you. My favorite parts are the forest night scenes. The phosphorescent glow of the plants and the creatures at night are breathtaking, but it's not just the visual art that is award winning. The interaction between Jake and Neytiri is just plain awesome to behold. Are we watching animation or are we watching real actors come to life? Yes, there are other Na'vi that are not as well drawn out on the screen, but I never felt the awkward moment knowing that a character was CGI and just looked wrong. Instead I was drawn into the forest and amazed at the attention to detail: Cracks in Neytiri's war paint as she scrunches her face to flash her teeth at her enemy.

Avatar has already crossed the $1 billion dollar mark and I suspect that there will be no slowing in sight as the mid week screening I took in last night was packed and the IMAX shows were all sold out. If you're on the fence about seeing this film, go. You will have spent $14 in worse ways. No, it's not a perfect film as just a little more time on the script could have done wonders. But you have not seen anything so beautiful and magical. Funny enough, I want to see the film again, but in 2D and not in 3D so that I can take in all that I missed. Enjoy yourself with this film as there's a lot to love.

Movie Review: Up in the Air

"Make no mistake. Your relationships are the heaviest components in your life. All those negotiations, and arguments and secrets and compromises. The slower we move, the faster we die. Make no mistake: Moving is living."

In Jason Reitman’s “Up in the Air,” Clooney’s Ryan Bingham preaches the line above at one of his motivational talks. He is a shark among men, believing that movement and lightening one’s backpack is essential to survival. Not to knock either film, but with ten-foot tall blue aliens (Avatar) and kids’ fare (The Princess and the Frog) eating up the box office, it’s wonderful to have a smart, witty and emotionally revealing film out during the holidays. My wife and I had the pleasure of seeing “Up in the Air,” and I’m glad we did. I’ll skirt away from the in-depth plot points, but here’s the gist: Ryan Bingham flies around the country more than 320 days out of the year, going in to companies and being the heavy. His job is to let employees go. He’s a terminator. Young upstart, Natalie Keener (Anna Kendrick who plays Angela in the Twilight films) has worked it all out. She has devised a plan to use video/headsets to virtually fire employees all around the country from the Omaha home office saving the company that both she and Ryan work for millions of dollars. The problem: Just as Ryan has crossed paths with a woman just like himself, he’s being grounded.

What plays out on screen is heartfelt and filled with depth of character and emotion. Clooney’s acting chops are a pleasure to behold. His suave attitude as he clashes with Kendrick’s young and inexperienced Natalie is Oscar worthy. Time and time again, characters wonder aloud: What is the point? What is the point of marriage, of our connections, friendships and our relationships? These questions are asked and then juxtaposed against those who are being fired. Who’s had 13 years of service at a company and is fired? Or saved the company millions? Fired. Clooney is detached from the emotional world as he fires dozens of people and sees their deepest selves on display while he glides from kiosk to kiosk with his gold cards and membership perks to remain adrift emotionally.

The heaviest components in our lives are our relationships. Yet the answers we are given in this film are not as simple and trite as you might expect from Hollywood. Sometimes there are no simple answers. Love, trust and commitment are hard work and each of us has a choice. To fly among the clouds, never truly connecting and feeling or--jumping in, getting wet and truly living. What unfolds on screen is light enough to be enjoyable during this holiday season yet filled with enough substance that you’ll be glad you took in this film. For in the end, are we social animals or are we sharks, preying up the world never stopping for lack of movement means death? Do yourself a favor and go see this film. Clooney’s role alone is worth the price of admission. And, if you’re open, you might just learn a little bit about yourself. Who are you: Emotionally detached from people or have you truly embraced the people in your life? Hopefully, you’ll find where you are on the loner/joiner spectrum and question why you’re there.