I wrote my first novel back when I was 16 years old. At the time, I had a crush on my French teacher and wrote a fantasy story as part of a project for my high school French class. Some kids get in trouble with the law, dabble in drinking, but I wrote a novel. Many years later I rewrote "Dorothea's Song" and then started writing my second novel. "Amelion's Song" is a sequel that is in draft form but I've not gotten back to re-writing it. In the meantime, life has been filled with work, freelance writing, short stories, blog posts and lots and lots of podcasting.
Back in January I made a decision to start writing a third novel. The current work is unique to any work I've done before and I've kept quiet about it because I've been afraid. I am now 140 pages into the book and am at a critical moment in it. The proverbial crap is going to hit the fan and I realize that the reason why I am afraid to talk about my writing a novel is because I fear I might fail and not complete the work. I have a full, full life with much to juggle and there have been times over the last seven months that I dropped out and stopped writing.
I have heard and read stories about writers who pop out books in weeks whereas I gave myself a deadline of one year to finish my book. I have heard writers berate other writers about how you must work everyday and you must do this and must do that--but that's not me. I am not writing this post to pass judgment on others but to share my process with fellow authors. I work full-time (and then some), am married, raising two kids, creating podcasts, engaging in social media and I try to get some sleep. When do I make time to write? How do I do it? And, most importantly, why?
Do you see that picture above of the beautiful gazebo-like structure with water surrounding it? To me, that's a picture that represents solace, comfort and peace. When I write, truly write for me, I am in touch with a part of me that is imaginative, creative and peaceful. Those creative energies build up within and I am lucky enough to be able to take these thoughts and write them down. The struggle is making time to write. Yet I learned that if you only write several pages a week, over time, you have a book. Some writers might say that you should writing several pages a day whereas I would say: Write the amount that feels good to you. If you're on a deadline, well, that's a different story as a work for hire contract is what it is. But if you're writing for yourself, be sure to write, yet don't beat yourself up and force yourself to write every day if that's not what you want to do.
There have been times in writing a novel in which the act of writing has been difficult as I am not inspired, am distracted by life and frustrated with not being able to go forward. During those times, I stop, go play or work on something else. I've done blog posting instead or create a podcast or go running. I've learned to be easy on myself realizing that I can't finish a book in a day. I just can't. Back when I created "Dorothea's Song" into an audiobook, I learned that some authors created the podcast versions of their books in a few days, some released one episode a week but I chose to record everything in advance and then release them one by one over time. The point: Come up with your own plan that is going to work with your schedule. If you don't want to write, then don't do it. But if you want to, then feel your way through the schedule that you have.
I have time at 5 a.m. and that's when I write. I would prefer writing late at night, but I'm unable to stay up that late these days because of my work schedule. Yet by getting up a bit earlier, writing when it's quiet in the house, I am able to knock some pages out. At the moment, I'm at page 140 and I'm rather happy about that. The fear that I have is that I have a long way to go--I'm probably at around the halfway point. I had a general idea of where the plot would go and I had written that down, but the characters are taking on a life of their own. Those damn creations of mine aren't listening to me and whole scenes that I had worked out in my head are being tossed aside. They won't be written that way any more as my main protagonist wants to go another way. She's re-writing the story, in a way, herself as I'm learning who she is.
But getting back to writing: By admitting my fear, I can face it. I have many faults and quirks. Today I am facing this one: I'm afraid that I'll fail and not complete this current book. I'm afraid of all the work yet to do and am wondering how to be better at marketing the completed book. I do feel lost in all of that, but one day at a time. Today I got up early, wrote a few pages and now am finishing this post. It's a good day.
If you want to write, just do it for yourself. Trust me, it'll be fun.
