When I was young, kids used to make fun of me. I had been in a fight and had my two front teeth knocked out (baby teeth thankfully). However, when my adult front teeth came in, they were protruded a bit and I was made fun of being called "rabbit." I was fast as a little kid with long legs and with the buck teeth, well, I guess it fit. (Got to love kids and how sensitive they are to their peers.) Thankfully, braces fixed my teeth but I remember back to being called rabbit and learning about the hare versus the tortoise story from Aesop.
I've always been a rabbit as it's the animal I most identify with: I run, zip around and sniff, sniff, sniff. But what might have been my nature as a kid has had to change over time. I have had to teach myself new skills. You see, rabbits like to rush and get lots of things done, but in the Aesop story, they take a nap in the middle of the race, don't get up in time and the tortoise wins. Life isn't about winning (well, to me it isn't), but rather it's the journey. If I've learned anything in 39 years, it's to be patient and to implement le juste milieu (the middle road). Going to extremes in anything is often bad. (Though you think I would have learned that lesson by now. Le sigh.)
What caused me to write this blog post is about frustration. I can't have what I want today. I just can't. But I want it. And I want it now. Ever been there? I'm a rabbit. I want to zip around and get what I want, but it's just not possible. What am I talking about? I'm working on a writing project. I've been working on the project since early January so it's almost been two months. I'm 58 pages into the project and I've a long way to go.
I'm very good at telling friends: "Do a little at a time. Don't worry about it. All will work out. Just don't give up." I'm great at giving out advice, but what others may not know about me is that I also need encouragement. I have written one novel that I published, a second novel that's in draft form and now I'm working on a third book. I have written long pieces before, but each time it's been difficult. Writing and creating can be a very lonely road. Very lonely.
I wanted to just write a little bit about it to explain that it's not an easy path. The tortoise will "win" the race. Slow going, steady, sure, consistent. If I can keep up the work, can continue to make time, I will finish. But it's not easy and some days I don't make time. I'm trying to train for a 10 mile run in May, work full-time and have two kids. Throw in two podcasts I'm creating and then a novel and, well, yeah, I don't have a lot of time to watch TV.
I'm not trying to make this a post about complaining. What I want is for people to see that I do doubt, fear and fall down. It's hard work trying to do all that I'm doing and, yes, I could drop things or stop. My usual path is to try to juggle many things as once and when things fall, I let them stay on the ground for a bit, pick them up, and then throw them back into the air again.
I'm trying to write a book. I want to be a rabbit: Just sit down and write like crazy, but:
1. My imagination doesn't work that way. I need time to develop the story in my head.
2. I literally don't have the time to just sit down and write that way.
So the path that I'm taking is slow and I'm not good with slow. I'm trying though. I really am.
Comments