(500) Days of Summer

Did you see the movie trailer embedded above for (500) Days of Summer? Good. My wife and I went to see this film as I heard much about it. I'm a bit torn about the film as I think I'm colored by hearing the review that Adam and Matty gave on the Filmspotting podcast. Parts of me loved the film. And other parts thought it would have been edited in areas, but I think what bothered me the most is that the movie, as written, portrays Summer as a really, really distant and selfish character. Well, maybe that's not quite right. Maybe, on behalf of all men out there, I wanted to also call her a Bitch for how she treated poor Tom. Or maybe I was angry at Tom for allowing himself to be treated so badly by her. Or, maybe I'm angry at Tom for not hearing what Summer was saying. It's complicated. And with any film that can cause me to be so conflicted in the course of a hour and a half, why, I guess it's not half bad.

I did enjoy the film, but you can see the writing on the wall as to where the film is headed, but you're not quite sure exactly how/when/where it'll all end up with. And, in a romantic comedy, of the new age, that's a really good thing. It's nice to see our tried and true genres be broken over the head by a Manic Pixie Dream Girl named Summer. What you want to happen and what actually does leaves you musing about your own life and your own memories of love gone horribly wrong.

What worked so well are some of the ending moments in the film. I don't want to ruin it, but watch and pay attention you're brought through their relationship and you get to see their relationship on full display.

But a core question in the film is still up for grabs: Do you believe in fate, destiny? Or, more importantly, do you believe in one soulmate? Are we destined to meet only one person and fall in love with them and that's that--Happy ever after and cue up the music? This film challenges our assumptions about love and all that we know about relationships and asks us to see life a little bit differently. No matter what side of the fence you're on, it's a film about life and there are some important lessons to learn. God, how I was seeing myself on the screen as I've acted so poorly over how deeply I have fallen for a woman. And yet, if you take a step back and ask this question, it'll be interesting to see what the answer is: When I remember falling so hard and so fast for a woman, was I in love with being in love or did I love her? Or, to really mix it up, did I fall in love with the me I discovered in loving her?

There's a song and dance number dealing with a Daryl Hall and John Oats' song that will have you laughing outloud and pinpointed a few moments in my life. The day after you've finally made that big leap in the secret world of intimacy with a woman is the day that you could take on an army. You are invincible as you are seeing the world through rose tinted glasses that probably would make a pile of poo look like a sweet summer flower. Much is captured in this film, but, in the end, I saw the message as being pretty clear. Don't try to figure women out, you'll never get it, but, if you want to believe in love (which I do for obvious reasons!), then follow your heart and do what's best for yourself first. Take care of yourself, do what you love and you'll be okay. Life will put people in your path when you least expect it. There's no secret. It's that simple. The film's whole message can be summed up in Dan Savage's line that he uses on his Savage Love podcast: "All relationships are doomed to fail--until one doesn't." (I'm paraphrasing, but you get the idea.)

If you're looking for a good film to see, check this one out, but watch out for Summer. She's gorgeous and has beautiful eyes but, in the end, she's not to be yours.

Comments

[Donna]

Ron,

I finally saw this movie. You and a few others recommended it, so it was on "my list". Coming from the opposite view (so to speak - the female side of things), it was interesting to see a FEMALE character in the role of the "typical" MALE. That is, the emotionally unavailable person. Don't get me wrong, I think she was a bitch to poor Tom, too, but I identified with Tom's character and I'm sure most others did no matter if you're a man or a woman. The movie wasn't quite what I expected, but it had a message I needed to hear at the moment.

I do like your thought above: "...did I fall in love with the me I discovered in loving her?" I just had a too-brief relationship turn sour (after a too-long one did), but the movie helped me see the good in it. Or the point, if you will. I hope I have a happy ending like Tom some day!

Donna