Life is a rather precious and special thing. That might sound a bit trite but with my daughter having been born only two days ago, it's a bit funny how life changes and priorities shift. Yesterday my biggest goal was bathing my daughter for the first time. Well, cleaning up her full head of hair in the attempts to comb out died mucus and blood from her birth. She cooperated rather well, crying as I had expected, but also urinating in the baby tub I had her in. I turned to look back at the rest of her tiny body (20 and a half inches long) and saw all this yellow "water." Then I realized that I had forgotten how babies pee at any drop of a hat or temperature (the water I had poured on her head was too cool).
I wanted to take a moment just to reflect. Reflect on life, mine, my family's and the interconnected web around us. Learning to be a father all over again, is different, new, and a change. I had never imagined in growing up that I would be a father to a daughter. The challenges (just different than being a father to my son) are interestingly vast as I can relate to my son since I'm male. But the gender gap between my daughter and I is interesting to note as I fear that a pink wave of Barbie will soon descend on her. It's bad enough that my son is in love with everything Disney, including the Princesses! Now in a few short years my daughter will be caught up in the rush too. I half joke about that, but what I am serious about is the father daughter bond. I did not have a sister and didn't grow up hearing my sister talk about a father/daughter dance or fears of her getting pregnant when a teenager. Being a boy, fears of pregnancy are still "out there" as a boy can experience that moment but not physically. The issue is still not part of you and I think that life will be a bit more introspective as the immensity of fatherhood--to a girl--washes over me.
I was driving back from the store yesterday and I realized that the Supreme Court might change the law and make illegal the right for women to have an abortion. And I didn't know what I felt about that. Would I want my daughter to have the right to choose even though I'm against abortion? And then thoughts sparked alive in my imagination, linking up to weave a web of life in front of me, stretching out far into the future. I realized that I needed to champion women rights to help fight for my daughter's well-being. For her to choose what she wants. I just hadn't thought of life from that perspective before when my son was born. Yet maybe these thoughts will temper me and the reflection will enable me to grow to learn more about who I am not and become more--in the hopes of being a better father for my daughter. These thoughts are what I'd like to reflect on, keep close, hold tight within me, and relish my new role as father to a beautiful daughter.
"Life is a rather precious and special thing" Yes, it is - and new life is the most precious. A wonderful gift.
From the great HDT:
"The true harvest of my daily life is somewhat intangible and indescribable as the tints of morning or evening. It is a little star-dust caught, a segment of rainbow which I have clutched." - Henry David Thoreau, 1854
It is not the material things in our lives that we remember and cherish, as we get older and hopefully wiser. It is the relationships and small personal moments - like your child’s first bath - that we cling to. I know you will have many of these gifts in your life and you will always treasure them. She is lucky to have such wonderful parents. And Ron, I can’t believe you never saw yourself as a father of a daughter. Growing up you where the most sensitive teenager/young adult I’ve ever known. You will be an awesome father to your daughter – you are already concerned about her rights as woman in America and she’s only a week old.
“I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear… I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life….” HDT
Carpe Diem
Posted by: Deena | July 21, 2007 at 12:01 AM
Ron you will be a great father to your new beautiful baby girl remember god created us equal yes you might never truly understand or feel the way your women in life feel about things physical or emotional but you can always listen and always be there.
My beautiful Wife and I have been married now for 21 years on july 18th I know something about how you are feeling of the gender gap we lost twin daughters while i was in the military in July of 1988 one lived for 9 days and the other one was still born but i was a very happy papa for nine days i had a little sis i helped raise so i might had have a little more experience to fall upon but it will come to you just keep to your wifes side and don't be afraid to ask questions.
Daddys are supposed to be different than Mommys its the way the world is dont fight it be very proud of your self for having that moment of reflection that day about abortion and how that will be for your little girl when its her time to shine as a women set rules,set goals for her
but always be a her father and most important be her DADDY!!!
Posted by: Samuel Long | July 22, 2007 at 10:56 PM
Ron you will be a great father to your new beautiful baby girl remember god created us equal yes you might never truly understand or feel the way your women in life feel about things physical or emotional but you can always listen and always be there.
My beautiful Wife and I have been married now for 21 years on july 18th I know something about how you are feeling of the gender gap we lost twin daughters while i was in the military in July of 1988 one lived for 9 days and the other one was still born but i was a very happy papa for nine days i had a little sis i helped raise so i might had have a little more experience to fall upon but it will come to you just keep to your wifes side and don't be afraid to ask questions.
Daddys are supposed to be different than Mommys its the way the world is dont fight it be very proud of your self for having that moment of reflection that day about abortion and how that will be for your little girl when its her time to shine as a women set rules,set goals for her
but always be a her father and most important be her DADDY!!!
Posted by: Samuel Long | July 22, 2007 at 10:57 PM