Published in SF&Fantasy Workshop newsletter, November 2001
Why Do We Keep on Writing?
by
Ron Vitale
Let me be honest. I have not had much success as a writer. In fact, some would criticize the success I’ve had and laugh--one short story in a small fanzine, a role-playing article in a gaming company’s newsletter, and some articles published in a local paper. To date, I have earned $75.00 from my writing. So why do I keep on writing? I have asked myself this question often lately. The answers that I have uncovered have inspired me and given me hope.
There are four main reasons why I like to write: Connectivity with an audience, self-discovery, escapism, and enjoyment. I’m 30 years old now and I remember the day I wrote and shared my first story with a bunch of friends. During lunch period in the parking lot of a small elementary school, I had several fellow seventh graders gathered around me as I read “The Mission.” This was my first attempt at a science fiction pulp story. There was something enticing about have four kids surrounding me, listening to my every word. I must admit in a selfish way that a mixture of ego and excitement elated me. When a teacher came over to us because she thought we five boys must be looking at a “dirty magazine,” I’ll never forget her face as she reviewed my work and then handed it back to me with some encouraging words. These were my first critiques and the review was good!
Making that connection with a reader, having her identify with my mindset and nodding, saying, “I can relate to that” is extremely important to me. I want my writing to move someone, to spark an idea, and to share an intimate aspect of myself with my reader. This familiar closeness with an audience drives me back to the blank page again and again so I can share my message, no matter how weak or insignificant it might be, with other like-minded people.
Closely tied to my desire to connect with an audience is my quest for self-discovery. No matter what I write, I’m infusing the page with my mood and bits of my inner self. For this reason, I most enjoy free-style, journal writing. When I’m depressed, I enjoy sitting at the computer, putting on some music, and just typing. Letting the words flow out of me. There is a sense of freedom in doing this. The words do not need to make sense, a story does not need to be “good,” nothing is judged. Such inner dialogues with myself help me define my goals and understand who I am and where I’m headed. It’s this closeness with myself that I attempt to bring to my fiction. I firmly believe that writers construct characters that are fractal parts of themselves. And through writing stories, writers’ memories are incorporated into their works in a way that helps them heal and better know themselves. It might sound like new-age psychobabble, but from the earliest times in which a scop would tell his tales to the tribe (as in Beowulf), stories have always told a history through which lessons are typically learned.
For me, there are several types of writing. I can write for an audience or for myself. And these four reasons why I enjoy writing often switch precedence in my thoughts. Sometimes an act of writing is pure escapism. And in today’s world, it’s important to be able to escape the pressures and horrors of modern life through writing and reading. I trace this escapist mentality back to my youth. I used to pour over books such as Tolkien’s THE LORD OF THE RINGS trilogy and be transported to Middle Earth. Similarly, when writing, I can lose myself in the creation of my own self-constructed world. Characters often walk down paths I had not expected, and the joy of allowing a character her freedom to take that path is pure escapism. When I write, I can sometimes enter the “zone.” I can only describe this as a form of such concentration that I lack the ability to tell the time in the outside world and can actually see events from the story unfolding in my imagination.
If all the pieces of the puzzle come together, then I look at my writing and realize that I enjoy my work. No, I do not enjoy the rejections, or the struggles with self-doubt and writer’s block, but when I finish the story I set out to write, I feel content. Two years ago I made a promise to myself. I was finishing my first novel (for which I am still trying to find an agent) when I hit an obstacle. I realized that the work of writing and re-writing a novel was no longer fun. The pressures of self-imposed expectations and doubt kept cropping up. My inner voice kept asking: “Will this sell? Why am I doing this? Why don’t I just quit?” I believe each writer must face this moment and have solid answers. As for me, I decided that I would only write if it were enjoyable to me. I work too hard in my day job and in all other aspects of my life not to enjoy my writing. I decided that I must enjoy the writing process or I would stop doing it. At the moment that I realized that I had the power to make writing enjoyable rather than a stressful chore, my life changed. Writer’s block disappeared and so did fear. Now granted, I still have problems with developing ideas and finishing a project, finding someone to publish my work, and all the other business responsibilities tied into writing, but I had reached an essential understanding about myself. I would write for myself and for enjoyment. On the flip side of the coin: Once I finish that piece, I do all that I can to present a professional package to an Editor. I research the market, follow the guidelines, ensure my work is professional in appearance, and track my submissions. And then I start the process over again.
I recently submitted a manuscript to a magazine and am now wrestling with developing a new story. To take a break, I thought I’d do something fun. I would write this. I’d admit to myself that the writing process is difficult and that perseverance is one of the keys to success. And now I know that if my writing does not achieve a mixture of my four reasons as to why I write, then the project isn’t worth the time. It’s that simple. These raisons d’être are my answer to the question: “Why Do We Keep on Writing?” Since I’ve shared mine with you, why don’t you do the same? When you’re alone and you have some quiet time, ask yourself the same question. I think the answers you’ll uncover will inspire you.
