RonVitale

The End and a Beginning

Our vacation at the shore house in Ocean City is coming to an end.  Tomorrow we're headed out of Ocean City.  We're headed to another shore point, but it'll be sad to leave here.  It's a great shore house and you can't beat being only 1 1/2 blocks from the beach.  But I don't want to focus on just endings. 

Six years ago today my wife and I were married.  I can't believe how much time has passed since then and how much our lives have changed.  Our son is almost three years old and I look at those who have passed on (we've lost five close family members in the last six years and had 2 births)--I can't believe how much we've accomplished and where we've been and what we've done.

Yet at the end of the day, I simply want to say that I'm so happy that my wife is my best friend and partner.  She's been with me through thick and thin.  We've seen some amazing and some downright horrible times.  Although vacation is coming to an end, today is a celebration of our life together.  Six years ago, the weather was in the high '90s, we were hot, tired, and overwhelmed.  But when you walk into your family and friends, hearing your names announced to the world for the first time, it's a bit of a shocker.  You realize that you're a couple.  You're a team.  You'll make it or not on your own effort.

With career stress, writing problems, family issues, it's an extremely wild time of so much going on.  But at the end of the day, it's my wife who has been my biggest supporter.  I love her for who she is and want to thank her for six wonderful years of marriage.  I'm looking forward to the future.  Je t'aime.  Take care and enjoy!

Attack of the Kids

Ah, a beautiful sunset, the sound of ocean waves, and five kids from the ages of 1 1/2  to 7 running around all over the place!  Ack! Last night we met up with friends and between the three couples we had five kids in tow.  During dinner I sat at the kids' table and did my best to keep them occupied as we waited for the food.  Boy, oh boy, that was rather challenging.  My kid wanted to play with the sugar packs, a 4 year old and the 7 year old wanted to wrestle in the booth seat, and a 4 year old girl cried when the 1 1/2 year old ripped a piece of paper she was going to color with crayons.  Calgon take me away! 

After dinner, minature golf turned into seeing which kid didn't melt down and begin to cry.  But all in all, the night was fun.  It was just a bit stressful at times.  On the way home from the boardwalk, our son flipped out because he was overtired and wanted to play more games.  As soon as we said, "No," he screeched at the top of his lungs and screamed: "I want to play games!!!!!"  Ah, having children.  It's filled with all the angst, love, and insanity that you could ever want.  Inspiration?  Who needs it?  There's plenty that I'm learning and living through as a parent.  The biggest challenges of the day are trying to figure out how to discipline your child when he screehces and tries to hit you in the face when he doesn't get his way. 

You know, I look around at what my life is right now and I think it's best to describe it as a unmetered dance from one role to the next.  I'm a worker, father, husand, son, write, podcaster, gamer, and God only knows what else--it escapes me at the moment.  The balance comes in trying to find time (or make time) to do all of the above.  It's not easy.  Truly it isn't.  But is it fulfilling?  I love my wife and son, but I also enjoy my moments of peace and quiet (like now as I write this--everyone else is still sleeping and I have some time to write in peace).

But let's switch to writing for a moment.  I discovered Tobias S. Buckell's   Author Advance Survey from Mur Lafferty's   I Should Be Writing and my mind is a bit sobered from the numbers.  The media advance for a fantasy novel is $5000.  I'm uncertain how marketing and travel fees are reflected in that number once they're combined with any royalties.  From what I know in having talked to a  first-time published author, after he subtracted out all his out of pocket fees (publicity, marketing, travel, etc.), he cleared about $1500.  Hmm.  Humph.  Ouch.

Back in 1995, I worked part-time and made about $12,500 working 26 hours a week.  I had health care, profit sharing, and vacation time.  Fast forward 11 years into the future: If I were to have my first book published, I might make as little as $5000 (or $1500 or less depending on how much I spent on marketing and publicity). That's a sobering thought.  Of course, a book could become so popular that--yeah, well doesn't every author have that thought?  Authors dream that their book will be a best seller and that it'll sell millions of copies.  I think it's more realistic to think that several thousand copies are sold.  In talking to the writer I know, he estimated that it took about 500 man hours for him to write his novel. 

So, why do I write?  Lately, I've revised that question and have asked myself: "Why would I write for free?"  And the answer that I have come up with is: I don't.  I used to write a lot of free Magic: The Gathering articles, giving the content away.  Now I'm writing for a magazine and earning some money.  Some money is better than none for several reasons:  1. Professionally, having clips from published national magazines is important to my writing career.  2. Earning some money helps to pay for some enjoyment in my hobbies without taking needed funds to pay for daycare or the mortgage.  3. I want to become a published novelist and to get there I need to start at the bottom.

For me, I've been trying to get my fiction published for years.  I've made under $30 in having my short stories published.  I've shopped my novel around and still cannot find an agent or a publisher.  I haven't given up, but while that process continues, I still have work to do:  I work hard in my career (and it's a career, not a "day job") and I put some effort into writing.  The logistics comes down to this: I could beat myself up and take all my free time to write when I'm home from work, but I'd never have time to spend with my family and I wouldn't be doing the business of writing.  Writing isn't just about sitting at a computer and writing.  Yes, that's a part of it, but I also need to read and learn and live.  I can't write if I don't know about a game.  I can't write if I don't have inspiration.  Writing is like an iceberg in that there's the actual sitting down at the computer part, but there's research to be done, reading, living (for experiences to write about), as well as sending out manuscripts, tracking them, calling editors, e-mailing editors, etc.  The business of writing takes up a lot of time (heck, I didn't even mention networking). 

At the end of the day, the sobering thought that when I was in my 20s I was making more money than a first time novelist was for having his/her book published.  I'm a bit amazed at that.  With the market being so difficult to break into and with fees being so low, the question remains: Why write?  Even with knowing all of the above, I know my answer: Because I want to.  It's not more complicated than that.  Will I write more novels in the future?  Yes, but what I am currently focusing on are my freelance article projects.  I'm learning a few things: How to write better, network more efficiently, and learn more about the craft of writing as a whole.

I might be on vacation and chasing kids around the boardwalk, but my mind is working: I'm listening watching, reading, and most importantly thinking.  The thinking part is a deep iceberg hiding beneath the surface, causing me to take as much in as I can and just allow life to wash over me--both good and bad.  I don't want to end on a sour note, but that's the reality of the writer's life.  It's not simple.  There's bills to be paid and a life to lead.  Anyone who thinks that you just sit down, knock out a "best seller" and then smoke your pipe by the fireplace needs to think again.  A writer's life is messy, but I wouldn't have it any other way.      

The Liscivious Biddies

Imagine a picture to the left that is current.  Unfortunately, I forgot my camera last night when my wife took me to see the   Lascivious Biddies at the   Tin Angel in Philadelphia (aren't I on vacation?  How did I get back to Philadelphia?  My mother-iin-law and her two friends came to babysit so that my wife could go to dinner and a concert in Philadelphia).

The Biddies went on stage a little after 8:30 p.m. and my wife and I had the first table.  Literally, my foot was hitting a speaker.  I could have leaned over and been right on the stage.  I had never been to the Tin Angel before and although I was a bit disappointed that the Biddies had such a small audience (maybe there was about 25 people who had come to see the show?) that they put on a great performance.  The last time I saw the   Biddies they played at a library at a library in New Jersey so it was great to see them all dolled up (they were cocktail dresses.  Amanda wore a red sleeveless dress, Saskia  wore a bluish dress and Lee Ann and Deidre wore black).  They belted out the songs and I again really became lost in their song   Wichita.  There's a part toward the end in which they harmonize and you become lost in the music. Being so close to the stage, feeling the moment wash over me, and knowing what my wife and I were celebrating (our 6th anniversary is coming up) just completed the mode.  And I'll remember that night for other more important reasons but it's always good to tie such a momentous night to an event like a concert with the Biddies.

If you've not listened to their music before, in their own words: "I've narrowed our music to two kinds of songs.  Nostalgic America with a twist and songs about Ladies."  You might be into all other sorts of music and wonder why you should listen to music of this nature, but it's worth listening to.  Check them out at their   official website or look them up on the   Podsafe Music Network.

It's well worth the listen.  Enjoy and make the effort to listen to them.  They're lots of fun.   

Vacation

So I'm on vacation and as with last year my brain is just on hold.  I've found that while I'm on vacation I'm not really thinking about writing or working in a creative way.  I have a good many projects that are in the loop as I'm waiting to hear some news from Editors and an agent, but at the moment I'm in limbo.  I've also some good news, as I mentioned before, about other writing--that'll start in a few weeks.

Where's my head?  I've a lot of big decisions to make in realms outside of writing.  My day job, for instance.  Mur Lafferty, from   I Should Be Writing recently said in one of her podcasts: "Don't quit your day job."  And it's an extremely important piece of advice.  Yet as my day job career is becoming more involved because of new and exciting responsibilities so I need to reflect on the time committment that'll be associated with that.  As I've always complained about, there's only 24 hours in a day.  By the time you take out work, sleep, eating, cleaning and other chores, that doesn't leave much time to spend with my family.  Beyond that, where's the time for writing and creating podcasts? 

But I'm on vacation so I can't solve all of those problems.  What I've learned is that I need to juggle with my time.  Some days I'll have more time to work on writing and to spend with my family and other times I won't.  I can only do the best I can.  And that's the best I can do.  It's the acceptance that I need to work on inside my head.  I can't be everywhere at once.  It's just not possible for me to be all to everyone.  The harder I try to do that, the more I'll fail.  And I'll fail myself most of all.

I am a writer.  I am many things at different times.  But at the moment, I'm a man on vacation.  Tonight I'm headed off to see the   Lascivious Biddies at a concert. My wife picked the tickets up for us as part of our anniversary gift.  I'm looking forward to going as it should be lots of fun.

So relax, take some time to chill out and see the ferris wheel.  There's only so many times I'll be able to see my son's awe and excitement as seeing all the amusement rides in Ocean City. Enjoy and peace.