The year is flying by at a faster rate than I can imagine. It’s already Thanksgiving and before you know it we’ll be into the Christmas season. This year, with moving next month, I don’t know how relaxed I’ll be to enjoy the holiday. I’ll have to make an effort to relax and just enjoy the moment. I would say that I’m not very good at that. I’m a Type A personality—running around, doing one thing, and then another—usually disappointed that I didn’t have enough time to finish a project well. And that’s the frustrating part of the equation: There will never be enough “time” to do what I might like. Either I pass up on opportunities or I try them and then move on to something else.
I want to take a moment to be thankful for my family and for all that I have. Often, when we pray or reflect on who we are and what we have, we focus on what we want rather than being thankful for what we have. And I do want to save thank you to my wife for being supportive of me in my writing and in listening to me bitch about my problems. I bitch a lot—more than she cares to hear, but I give her credit for being able to tune me out. I’m thankful that I am married to a patient (extremely patient) woman. I’m nowhere as patient as she is. Rather, I would say that I’m stubborn. I’m persistent and will continue to work on something because I’m just that much more stubborn than anyone else. I wouldn’t call it patience. I’m frequently frustrated and angry at my lack of time and success in writing. But this is the truth. I do not know how other writers are, but to work so hard on a piece, send it out in the mail, and then to receive a simple form letter refection is demoralizing. It’s downright depressing at times.
But I’m thankful that I have the ability and the time to try—even if it’s only a small amount of time. I was thinking a few weeks ago about my life and I look at what my interests are and I have to say that I like to be eclectic. I enjoy: Writing, astronomy, fantasy writing, science fiction, movies, foreign films, cooking, technology, reading (contemporary, classics, science fiction, fantasy, and some history/biographical), travel (when I can), podcasts, making movies, video blogs, blogs, computers, music, and a host of other hobbies. What I realize about myself is that I do not wish to be an expert in any of those hobbies. Why? I believe that I wouldn’t have time to enjoy my other hobbies if I focused exclusively on one thing.
I was berating myself recently thinking: “I’ll never be a great writer because I can’t devote all of my time to writing.” But I thought about it and realized that I wouldn’t be happy if all I did was ONE thing. I can’t just write. I can’t just like science fiction. I like to be able to jump into different hobbies at will. It’s what I enjoy. Sure, I spend more time on one interest over another, but I try my best to enjoy as many different things in my life as I can. I try to read, learn, and understand as much as I can. And this is where my lack of time comes in: If I had more time, I’d do more. I’d learn more languages, read more—well, I could go on forever. I used to think that the afterlife, if it existed, would be me floating around as a spirit (for all eternity) going through the entire universe learning as much as I could about everything. I enjoy learning—but I most enjoy learning at my own rate and interest. If I want to pick something new up, I like to sit down and start figuring it out. No matter if it’s cooking, creating a video blog, or writing a story.
I’m thankful that I have this ability to take in so many interests and I’m thankful for the time that my family gives me to spend on my hobbies/interests. We all do a juggle in life: How much time do we spend at work, with our kids, our wives, families, interests—it’s all there in our heads, constantly jockeying for the top position in our lives. Often it’s work pushing itself to the forefront. When you factor in sleeping and work, there’s not a hack of a lot of time left over to spend time with family and on writing, astronomy, games, reading, cooking, video blogs, etc.
But I get by and do the best I can.
I’m thankful for my son who is teaching me what it means to be a man. No matter if I carried him in a sling as a baby or am changing his diaper in the men’s bathroom on the boardwalk, being a father is more than biological. I’ve always known that from personal experience, but I’m learning the ups, downs, and sideways of being a father. It’s not easy, but I wouldn’t give it up for the world. For those fathers out there, you know what I’m talking about. To those of you who aren’t a parent, well, you’ll have to decide for yourself what type of experiences you want out of life. It’s not for me to say. Would I trade it for anything else? Nope. How to explain some of the goofy or endearing moments that happen on a day to day basis? I can’t. They just are precious and personal moments that make me the father that I am to my son.
I’m thankful for all that I have and for all I have become. I hope and pray for those people who had a rough year—survivors of the earthquake in Asia and of the hurricanes here in the United States. I’ve nothing to complain about compared to those who have lost their homes and loved ones. With the holiday season coming up, I simply want to take a moment to reflect, to be thankful, and to recognize who I am, what I have, and who is around me, sharing with me their love and warmth.
We’ll eat turkey, stuff ourselves with cranberries and pies, but I wanted to mention who and what I’m thankful for and to write about it. To make it real and cause me to slow down and take life all in.
I’m giving myself some time off to work on other projects. I’ll be back after the holiday weekend. Relax, enjoy, and peace.
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