I believe that it is important for me to take part in the current issues of the day and not be isolated in an ivory tower. Living in a free speech society, I want to be sure that I take the opportunity to stake my point of view. I mentioned yesterday that Cindy Sheehan’s march on Washington, D.C. is taking place on Saturday, September 24th. No matter if you’re a Republican, Democrat, or a non-U.S. citizen, take a moment to think about the War in Iraq and ask yourself: How long is this going to last? When are American troops coming home? I want to see that happen soon or at least for a date to be set in stone. Right now, American troops might remain over there fighting for several more years. I am not in favor of that. I oppose that.
Science fiction and fantasy have always been my means to escape from reality, but I’ve noticed that my last several stories have an interesting shift in them. There is a slight political overtone in the stories. I’m not trying to beat people over the head with a moralistic message, but I do want people to question and to think about the value of human life. At the least, I want people to question. And to wonder why a policy is, and not just accept it as fact.
In other news, I came across an interesting topic this morning. Adam Curry’s September 21st DailySourceCode dealt with the following question: What would you do concerning a hate based podcast that was on a node on servers you controlled? If you believe in free speech, would you pull down the hate based podcast or would you allow it to remain online? I had a tough time answering this question. In the past, I ran across a situation in which I was the forum operator of a BBS. I believed in free speech and a user tested my patience. The user kept posting irrelevant material in the forums to see how far he could push me. I deleted the post and the next day more posts appeared—just as annoying to users. I continued to delete the posts and asked the person to stop, but he continued. I eventually locked his account and worked the issue out with him and reopened his posting ability. But the user had made his point: What is true free speech? This podcast is a hate based audio file. Would I allow this to remain on my servers? I don’t believe I could allow that. But doesn’t that make me a hypocrite? Yes, it does. It seems that I believe in selective free speech in which the story, podcast, or movie isn’t harmful to other people. I can see I’m already on a slippery slope though with that thought. Who is to say what is “harmful” and what isn’t to other people?
I’ve seen such great debates over what books are banned in various schools in Southern states. Books that are banned that make me roll my eyes in disgust. However, the parents who are sending their children to school are opposed to having some books in the libraries there.
In good faith, I have a problem with a book being banned. A podcast that people can hear is disturbing. I would like to think that people have the right to listen to whatever they want. But with the Internet being a free zone of whatever content, children could easily find the hate based podcast and download it for free. I’m not happy with that. It’s not as though the podcast would be blocked out and available only to those who paid for the service.
We live in a crazy and difficult world. As a parent, I want to make certain that my children are open to many different influences, but I can’t say that I want my children to hear racial slurs or hate talk directed at a particular group. Interesting topics to think about.
On one hand, I want to have the right to utilize my free speech and to complain about the War in Iraq. On the other, I don’t believe another person has the right to post a hate based podcast up on a server. Does that make me a hypocrite or wrong? I don’t think so. I’m not saying that groups like the KKK cannot protect, but I want to educate my children to let them know that I am opposed to such thought, that I disagree with their beliefs, and that I only hope that my children have a more open mind to embrace other cultures. It’s not an easy world we live in. I do not have all the answers, but I do like to think that I at least question the issues. To me, that’s most important. Discuss and talk with your family the issues.
Thoughts
I am in a frustrated and angry mood. Just tired, exhausted, and not at all pleased. Not the greatest of moods to work on a short story. I wrote down a bit yesterday and even jotted some ideas down. But that’s about as much as I could handle. I had no more time available to me.
I’ll leave it at that.
I did see an interesting movie the other night. My wife and I rented “The Piano Teacher” and I must admit that I haven’t been so affected by a movie in a long, long time. I keep thinking back to scenes in the film, wondering why certain events happened, but, as in life, there are no answers. None at all. You’re left wondering, doubtful, and disturbed. However, if you’re at all disturbed by dark films that portray the shadowy side of human sexuality, then I would advise that you skip this film. I remember seeing the posters when the film came out in 2001, but I never had a chance to go and see it. Instead I forgot about it until I recently heard the “top 5 foreign language film” list on the Cinecast podcast. I remembered that I had wanted to see the film and then added it to my queue.
I also started watching “The Fast Runner” that I thought might be useful as a research piece for my latest story. I’m about 30 minutes into the film and had to stop because I wasn’t feeling well last night (I’ve been fighting off a cold). The movie is close to nearly 3 hours long. I’m not sure if I’m going to be able to finish watching it. I have a bunch of work that I need to do and watching another 2 hours of the film might not be in the cards for me.
Lots of other stuff going on in my life, but I simply want to focus on my frustration. I must admit that I’m at the nadir of my creative cycle. I’m swamped with work and house work. The little time I do have available just isn’t enough for me to want to drop everything to do some writing. I know that sounds horrible, but I want to be truthful. In my writing life, I’ve had to choose other responsibilities over writing. But this time, I’m taking the time to still write in this blog. This is the life of a full-time worker who also likes to write. You’re continually bombarded by so many other issues that it’s not a clear cut sense of: “Hey, let me stop and do some writing.” When I’m so busy like this, I don’t want to stop and do writing. I just don’t feel into it and I want to rebel.
What I struggle with, is juggling and then coming back to work on a piece. Hopefully, I’ll be able to make time this Saturday. I’m not happy with all the different issues swirling around right now, but I can only see that I need to simply keep my chin up and keep working. It’s not fun, but I find that if I express my frustration than I can help deal with overcoming the issues. I’ve never been one for keeping quiet. Well, at least I started opening my mouth back when I was a teenager. I realized that keeping everything all bottled up inside wasn’t really working for me so I started to talk.
It’s funny because when I was younger I would just sit and watch, but be seething inside. I would watch and watch the world around me, and take everything in. I wouldn’t say much, but I’d use my imagination to get me past a rough point. I’d think of whom I was and what I wanted, and I would get through my rough time. I found my ways to help myself. It was all I had. A large part of my therapeutic healing process centered around music. I loved listening to music. I loved singing along to the music. It didn’t matter that I couldn’t sing (and still can’t carry a tune), but I would voice my frustration anyway.
When I was kneeling on my bathroom floor on Saturday, scrubbing it, I heard a Paul McCartney song in the background—“Take It Away” from his Tug of War album. And the memories flowed back to me. I recall working at a local pizza place, handing out menus to a neighborhood about 5 miles from my home. The owner, myself, and three other kids canvassed the entire area, putting menus for the pizza joint in every door. I had my Walkman on, listening to the music, and I would just work, thinking about the future. I wondered where I would be in the future, wondering if I would be happier there than I was back then. Little did I know that I would have certain freedoms by the dozen, but severely lacking in time. And I remember that when I was young, having all summer to do whatever I wanted. I would read, read, and do more reading. I’d stay up late, working on my dungeons & dragons characters. Now I’m lucky if I can make it up to 12:30 a.m. since I get up so early. It’s just such a different life that I lead now than when I was younger. I longed for a companion, for understanding, and to belong. Now I long for time, quiet, and peace. It’s funny how life turns out. And it’s not that I’m disgusted with my life, just a bit overwhelmed by my present circumstances. There’s a lot going on that I’d rather not talk about online. It’s not the proper forum for it. Needless to say, just understand that I’m working as efficiently as I can and as hard as I can.
Yes, I’d like to do more writing, but there are higher priorities right now. C’est la vie. That’s just how it is. Peace.
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