Stress level factor is at an all-time high. Work deadlines, raising a 2 year-old, not much free time, and stress, stress, stress. Not a good combination, is it? I’ve been trying to do triple duty and, as with anything in life, there’s only so much one person can handle. Heck, there’s only so much two people (my wife and I) can handle. She has started her own business, works her butt off in raising our son, and is also doing a ton of work in helping us find a new home.
Yep, that’s what my veiled “I have household chores to do” actually is: I’ve been ripping apart the basement, going through the process of throwing stuff out and packing the rest. And have a lot of stuff. So between searching through house listing, discussing our plans, visiting the houses, there’s just not a lot of free time. My wife and I discussed the issue and we both agreed that now is a good time to start looking. Will it take us 1 month, 6 months, or more to purchase our new home, who knows. But we’ve begun. And if some of you have not purchased a home, I believe the activity is ranked up there with funerals as some of the most stressful and emotionally draining events in one’s life.
I’m doing my share in trying to get the house ready (our house needs to be in tip-top shape so that potential buyers can see what a great house it is)—that included everything from cleaning mold off the outside of the house to replacing a faucet in the kitchen (my wife did that—I was rather impressed). Cleaning, cleaning, cleaning is the order of the day: Removing clutter, throwing junk out, and packing away. There’s a lot of work to do, plenty for everyone, and then there’s the finances. Oh, the joy of figuring out what you can afford in this inflated real estate market. It’s stressful.
But at the end of the day, I have my eye on the prize: A home in which our son can grow up along with baby #2 (still on the books people, let us do one thing at a time). In the realm of the real world, deciding between finishing a story and securing a new place for our family to live is a pretty straightforward contest. Buying the house and getting our house ready for sale wins every battle. Sure, I could stop watching films and having any fun and just start writing, but these days writing has felt like work. And I’ve already shared with you my thoughts on that: Writing that is forced makes me unhappy and more frustrated. I know that preparing to move and buying a new home won’t last forever, but it is a stressful activity. Having a child complicates matters: Taking a 2 year-old on a journey of seeing 5 or 6 houses on a Sunday afternoon can be an adventure all on its own (but to give our son credit, he was pretty damn good considering we had him out on the road for over 2 hours seeing houses).
My wife has put in a ton of time doing work around the house and in doing research for buying a home. Me, I feel like I’m slacking because I’m at work all day. Since she works for herself, she’s able to put in time during the day and then makes up the work at night. So she’s putting in a ton of time. And who suffers in all of this? Typically, the couple. Half the time you’re ready to argue at your spouse because you’re cranky, tired, and frustrated. Buying a house isn’t as simple as picking the one you want and then that’s it. Many times, you find the house, put in a bid and your bid isn’t accepted or you find out that someone else beat you to the punch—they’re already putting in a bid. There’s so much that has to happen before our house is sold and we buy a new home and then actually move. It’s not possible to plan everything because there are so many unknowns. You don’t know how much your house will actually go for, don’t know how long it’ll be on the marketplace, and don’t know how long it’ll take to find and then obtain the house you want. Could take a heck of a long time or happen quickly (last time when we bought our current home, the owners needed someone in within 30 days. Man, that was quick. But since we were at an apartment we were able to keep both places. We spent an extra month in the apartment and then used the time to fix up our new home.)
Now with a child it’s not going to be that easy. And as I’ve said, there isn’t a way to know how everything will work out. To help alleviate the frustration, I’ve begun packing and going through our stuff, throwing out what is junk or we haven’t used in a long, long time. Just packing up our books in the basement took a ton of boxes. And there you have it: The source of my frustration. I remember when we last moved there was a lot of work to be done. Lots and lots of packing and work on the new house: Refinishing the hardwood floors, painting, cleaning, and other fixes. We’ve learned a lot about painting and creating a style which is uniquely our own, but now we’ll have to recreate the new house to be our new home. Such tasks could include: Painting, carpet cleaning, washing everything down, but then also such jobs as getting the wi-fi network up, setting up the audio equipment, unpacking, networking the computers together, and a huge list of other tasks that will go on and on. Even after we had been in our current house for two years, we then decided to redo our bedroom and then prepare the third bedroom for our son. We spents many long hours hand painting the leaves of the jungle in his room. Sure we could have just painted his room white and that was it, but everytime I go into our son’s room I smile, looking up at the stars in the sky (we painted his ceiling to look like the night sky), and the trees on the corners of the room. His “Where the Wild Things Are” room is pretty damn cool if I might say so. I love it and he seems to love it.
When I factor in the amount of work it’s going to take to get all these tasks done, I’m not so depressed because of that, but rather because I want to start. I like to be active and not passive. And so I’ve begun with packing. Each night I come home and do some work on packing and throwing stuff out. Last night it was only about an hour and a half, but I did get a good amount done. Tonight I might do less because I have paperwork to review. But there you have it: I’m busy as a bee. Although I’m not writing as much as I might like, honestly, I would rather get through this rough patch and then get settled into our future new home. But with all of this work: Nothing is set in stone. Until we sign the new mortage, we’re at our current place—which is fine. It’s just seeing the potential of a new home. And the implications: Plans for our second child. Again, all of this is just in the planning stage, but you have to start somewhere. Purchasing a new home and moving is the significant step.
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